I WILL NEVER FORGIVE HIM/HER/THEM
Hello beautiful people! Happy new month! How have you all been since the last Talk Thursday we were together (Is Kissing A Sin)? Awesome? Yay! All thanks to God and you all, Is Kissing A Sin was featured in RCCG’s (Redeemed Christian Church of God) The Mantle Magazine August issue, this is me blowing a big kiss to you all (holy kiss oh lol)!
Today’s topic is on Unforgiveness. Talking about unforgiveness, some people are ready to dodge and close this page because it’s either they can NEVER forgive or they don’t know what I’m talking about. I pray the Holy Spirit speaks to your conscience while/after reading this.
Unforgiveness in simple terms is holding on to the hurt/pain/agony caused by the attitude/sayings/actions of another person with an intent not to forgive them anytime soon until the same thing or something worse happens to them or until they come crawling on their knees, asking you for forgiveness. Sometimes, the person who inflicted the pain wouldn’t know you are offended until you let them know, other times the person inflicts this pain/hurt intentionally but we’re not focusing on intent today, we’re focusing on you, the afflicted.
I’d give an illustration about myself (as always) so we can better understand what unforgiveness is. I have two friends O & P and we’ve been friends for over three years and they both offended me. Out of anger I resolved to not speak to them until they come on their knees begging for my forgiveness because I was really hurt and didn’t expect them to say such/do such about/to me. Fast forward to seven months, I rededicate my life to Jesus and I’m still holding the grudge against these two friends of mine, remembering exactly what was said and done to me so that the anger will keep stirring up lol. You know if you’re truly walking with the Only Living & Wise God, His Spirit will always counsel and help you (if you invite and believe in Him: the Holy Spirit) so one day I got on my knees to pray, thanking and praising God as usual then the Holy Spirit talked to my Spirit saying:
Holy Spirit: “forgive O & P”
Me: “ehn? I should forgive who? Wo Holy Spirit abeg”
and I kept praising God. Later on I opened my Bible to read the verses for the day and it was 1 John 3:15 “whosoever hates his/her brother is a murderer and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him/her” You can imagine my embarrassed face and I just laughed and said “Holy Spirit you got me, you know once I see it in the Word it’s a done deal” then I asked the Holy Spirit to help me forgive them completely.
Some days later a friend of mine called me and we gisted till we started talking about O & P and he said:
D: “Bookie, have you forgiven O & P?”
Me: Lol I’ve asked the Holy Spirit to help me forgive them.
D: Okay have you called them to let them know?
Me: Call ke? Wo no need for that, I’ve forgiven with the help of the Holy Spirit and that’s all, let’s keep it moving abeg.
That same night, I dreamt about O that she posted a picture on Instagram and tagged me and I was laughing. I woke up and was like “Good morning Holy Spirit, what’s this dream about?” (P.S always ask the Holy Spirit for an interpretation of any dream if it bothers you). Later that same day I was watching Joyce Meyer on Faith Africa on DSTV and she was talking about unforgiveness and I was like ahan what’s all these na? Is this a sign Lord?
Thursday night after praying, I slept and dreamt that I went to O’s house to let her know she offended me, narrating the whole story and she was shocked that I was offended and she asked for forgiveness then I woke up.
Friday morning, my spirit was still troubled I knew I had to call O & P to let them know they both offended me but I forgive them. I got airtime, asked for their numbers from a friend then I called P. As I was dialing her number I whispered to the Holy Spirit to help me and make everything go smoothly with no hassle or argument and all that. She didn’t pick up. I called O and she picked, the Holy Spirit helped me to speak to her gently with a forgiving spirit and I told her I was offended by what she said about and did to me, told her about the dreams and how the Holy Spirit has been troubling me to call and forgive out rightly and she apologized and we exchanged pleasantries. I called P and we talked for long and she apologized, saying she never knew I was offended all these while and now we talk every day, catching up on lost time like nothing happened.
Right after I forgave them with the help of the Holy Spirit, I felt at ease with myself, I could see their pictures or Instagram ID and not feel that anger stirring up within me, it’s only God that can do that. But He wasn’t done because when I knelt and was thanking God for everything, my spirit was carry this heavy burden and I started crying. I had one more person I hadn’t forgiven because of what this person did to me and I cried out for help. I got to church on Sunday and Rev. Biodun Fatoyinbo (COZA) was preaching on Better Together and he just switched to unforgiveness and said we should release that person, I knew that was the height, I just had to forgive this person and I know I have forgiven this person. Today I am patiently waiting for what God will ask me to do concerning everyone and anyone in my life in terms of forgiveness.
What can we bring out from my little story which happened to me last week? God doesn’t want us to have unforgiveness in our hearts. The Bible says in Ephesians 4:32 …and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another even as God for Christ’s sake has forgiven you. The Bible also says in Matthew 6:14 – 15 …for if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly father will also forgive you but if you forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. So simple, if you don’t forgive others, God won’t forgive you. We wrong God everyday and He still forgives us, how much more you, a mere mortal?
Phil 4:13 says I can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. You can forgive whoever wronged you because you can do all things through Christ your strength. I really want us to open our hearts to God the Father and let God the Holy Spirit help take the trash and dirt from our hearts/mind so we can be perfect even as our Father in Heaven is perfect.
Isaiah 61:7 says for your shame ye shall have double…. God is saying forgive this person or those people and I will give you double for your trouble, double for your shame, double for your disgrace. Isn’t this awesome? Let Go and Let God.
One thing I always ask God for is in one of my favorite verses Romans 12:1-2 …offer yourselves as a living sacrifice unto God, dedicated to His service and pleasing him for this is your true act of worship. Do not be conformed to the standards of this world but be transformed by a constant renewing of your mind so you may prove what is that good, acceptable and perfect will of God. I ask God that my life may be a sweet smelling incense unto him and that my heart receives what he tells me to do and I’m quick to do them. If you ask God for this, He will definitely speak to your spirit, what He wants you to stop/start doing, it’s so amazing, and it works!
Can we say this little prayer? Dear Father, maker of Heaven, earth and all that’s beneath it, I praise your Name and thank You for this article I read today, I thank you because I’ve read your Word and I understand your precepts, Lord help me, in every and any way, Father help me, I want to release all those I’m holding a grudge against, no matter how little, please help me and fill me constantly with your Holy Spirit that I may live a life pleasing unto You, thank you Lord, In Jesus’ awesome and matchless name I’ve prayed, amen.
I am striving to be perfect so I still have some faults but I’m in God’s garage and he keeps fixing me, let Him fix you today!
Side Bar: Hey guys, Grace here. I hope you all were able to resonate and gain something from this post. I sure did. I just want to say that Talk Thursday will be handled by Bookie and I *yaaay* but articles from you guys are welcome. Kisses.
Good write up. Weldone Bookie and Grace. What about a situation where you keep forgiving the same person over and over again yet he/she keeps repeating the same thing that causes the quarrel between you both. Its possible to forgive but if one keeps doing the same thing over and over and expects your forgiveness with no effort to change because the Bible says forgive 70 ×7 or so. The thing is someones spirit can just die where that kind of person is because “something dies in you when you bear the unbearable”.
With my limited knowledge. I’d say forgive n literally forget the person *covers face*. Should we be taken for granted cos we choose to forgive?
Hi Tobey, Jesus did say 70 x 7 but that doesn’t mean 490 times, it only means infinity.
Think about it, you tell a “small” lie today then quickly ask God for forgiveness but you keep telling that ‘small’ lie or keep sinning and God keeps forgiving you Because He is merciful.
You can let the person know he or she does this thing and it irks your spirit but that doesn’t mean you won’t keep forgiving.
All I can say is…. God help me to forgive… Cos I am really hurt!
I can imagine, if you’re willing to forgive, every other thing will fall in place.
I forgive everyone that has offended me, and I ask God for forgiveness……
Good one bookie. Forgiveness is key in this christian race and its the bedrock. For without God’s forgiveness we’d be doomed. So we just have to learn. May God help us.
This is a very well written post, i love the humor in it. I enjoy your talk Thursday posts always inspiring. Good work
I’m glad you enjoy our Talk Thursdays hun, all thanks to Grace.
Well written Bookie,
I really learned from this post.
Reminds me of a quote “Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die” XD
Well written Bookie,
I really learned from this post.
Reminds me of a quote “Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die” 😀
Thank you Grace for this enriching series.
You’re most welcome