Acceptance in human psychology is a person’s assent to the reality of a situation, recognizing a process or condition (often a negative or uncomfortable situation) without attempting to change it, protest. The concept is close in meaning to ‘acquiescence’, derived from the Latin ‘acquiēscere’ (to find rest in) – Wikipedia.
Hey loves! so I decided to add a little sum’n sum’n to the blog to spice it up some more and came up with ‘Talk Thursday’. Here, we get to talk about anything and everything, no holds barred, and I’m kicking the first of this series off with Acceptance.
I remember when I hated me. Yes, you read that right. I hated me. I hated my life and I was constantly comparing myself to other girls and people in general. I didn’t think I was pretty enough, I didn’t think I was smart enough and I definitely didn’t think I was cool enough. At an early age I was dealing with insecurities I had no business dealing with. The horror. I didn’t, couldn’t accept who and how I was at the time.
Growing up, I was shy. I am still a bit shy but I can handle myself better now. My sister bought me my first bra when I was in jss3 I think. I was mortified. It was the cutest pink and white mickey mouse bra ever but I was in JSS3! I cried and cried cos I felt I was too young for a bra. I didn’t understand why I should have breasts big enough to need a bra at that age. I would walk down the road using the inner pathways, or if I was carrying a bag, I would use it to cover my chest area. I never ever changed in front of my sisters or anyone. Boy, was it annoying. I hated my legs too. I felt they weren’t straight enough plus I was a bit of a tomboy growing up so I had a few scars on my legs. I hated my feet and hands, arrrgh. I wanted dainty feet and hands. Why didn’t I have dainty feet and hands I would ask myself and God? I thought I looked boyish and it got to me ALOT. I started wearing glasses at a tender age and for whatever reason, in Jss2, my frames were big and round. That fetched me the nickname ‘Bora’ Bora Milutinovic (boys can be silly sha lol). Thank God that didn’t stick for too long lol. I swore I would get not only breast reduction, but a total overhaul of my ‘ugly’ areas as soon as I was old enough and could afford it. Silly me. But really what did I know back then.
I would lock myself in my room, refuse to go out most of the time cos of how I felt. Little wonder I have very few friends. I preferred being alone. The few people I let in would often tell me I’ve got a beautiful soul, but I never quite understood what they meant, not until now.
Fast forward to the present, I love me. I’m not just saying it, I actually mean it. I have learnt to accept who I am and all that I have. I see so many women going under the knife to get bigger boobs and here I am filling out my clothes nicely. I was killing myself over not having straight legs when there are so many crippled people out there. Yes, I’ve got big feet (I’m a size 40) but so what? My sisters are the same size and I get to steal their shoes. I hardly use makeup and people keep telling me I’m naturally beautiful. These days, big frames are tagged fashionable so yes, I’ve been fashionable from way back. Bye bye Bora, say hi to this lil diva hahaha. Truth is, I didn’t come to love and accept me on my own. I got help from a very good friend of mine who held my hand through all my downtimes and reminded me constantly how smart, blessed and beautiful I am, and I also talked to God about my silly little worries too. I’m sure he had good laughs over them but he helped me through it all.
I was chatting with a buddie of mine some weeks ago and he kept teasing me on how back in high school, I was one of the ‘it girls’ . He went on and on about how boys wanted my attention, scenarios of things that happened in the boys dorm when my name came up, how one time I wore his sweater in class and when he got to dorm, some boys wanted the sweater looool . Oh my, did I have a good laugh but at the same time thought of the irony of it all. There I was battling with my insecurities while boys where fawning over me
Psalm 139:14 – I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well.
I’m really glad I have come to accept me for who and how I am. I go out more now, interact with people more and I am indeed a happier person. As a human being, I still deal with other insecurities but none big enough to stop me from loving me. What’s your story? Please share using the comment box.
Talk Thursday is open to everyone. You can send in your own stories too and I’ll put it up. You can remain anonymous if you don’t want your name published.