Yesterday, Bookie of bookiekunlere.com and I were laughing over her little predicament. It had to do with a lipstick review post she was working on. The lipstick wouldn’t come off even though she had tried everything to get it off. After all our laughter and bants, we agreed that the lipstick was long lasting and I made a reference to kissing to which Bookie replied, ‘Grace, Kissing is a sin’. She went on to explain why she said it was a sin and we decided Talk Thursday would be a cool platform to air her opinion.
SO, IS KISSING A SIN?
Lol let’s take a moment to laugh abeg because this topic is too funny.
First, I have to thank my all-so-naughty friend Grace for honoring me with this platform to talk to you guys on Talk Thursday, thanks hunnay, God bless you!
Now let’s get back to the topic at hand, Is Kissing A Sin?
I’m going to try as much as possible to break this topic as far down as it can go so we can put two and two together, coupled with the Word of God and by His Spirit, gain understanding, it will be quite lengthy so bare with me.
First I want to believe most of us reading this are Christians and we’re Bible believing Christians (we walk by the principles of Christ), yes? Okay. I want to believe that one time or the other in our lives we must have heard/seen/watched movies about Fornication and Adultery.
What is Fornication? Fornication in plain terms is boy meets girl, girl meets boy, boy meets boy, girl meets girl (both unmarried) and they get involved in sexual activities.
What is Adultery? Adultery in plain terms relates to a man and woman (married) and either of them takes a step out of marriage to get involved in sexual activities with another person or with others.
We all know the Bible says Fornication/Adultery is a sin? No? Let’s read the following Bible verses.
Exodus 20:14 (KJV) Thou shall not commit adultery.
(Good News) Do not commit adultery.
1 Corinthians 6:9-10 (KJV) Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God.
(Good News) Surely you know that the wicked will not posses God’s Kingdom. Do not fool yourselves; people who are immoral or who worship idols or are adulterers or homosexual perverts or who steal or are greedy or are drunkards or who slander others or are thieves – none of these will possess God’s Kingdom.
1 Corinthians 6:18 (KJV) Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body.
(Good News) Avoid immorality. Any other sin a man commits does not affect his body but the man who is guilty of sexual immorality sins against his own body.
Proverbs 6:32 (KJV) Whoever commits adultery with a woman lacks understanding; He who does so destroys his own soul.
For further reading, read Leviticus 18 & 20, 1 Corinthians 5 & 6, Hebrews 13:4, Proverbs 6:26-32, Matthew 5:27-30.
Point 1 – Fornication/Adultery is a sin.
Matthew 5:28 (Good News) says “But now I tell you: anyone who looks at a woman (or man) and wants to possess her (or him) is guilty of committing adultery (or fornication) with her in his (or her) heart” Let’s bring this Scripture into more modern terms shall we?
If I see this dark-skinned-toned-muscles-intoxicating-perfume-wearing fine brother walking past or just a picture on Instagram, and I’ve already undressed him in my mind and done a million and one things with him in my imagination while my fellow friend goes ahead to do the do with this same brother, according to what Jesus said above, both me and my friend who did the do will face the same level of judgment because a man (or woman) who looks at a woman (or man) lustfully is deemed to have fornicated with her (or him) in his (or her) heart.
From this Scripture therefore, we can deduce that thinking about the act/thinking about fornicating is as good as doing it already, agreed?
Point 2 – Lustful thinking of the opposite sex (or same sex as the case may be) is as good as doing it physically which in turn is fornication/adultery which is a sin.
If I’m here in Nigeria, unmarried but engaged to this fine brother and I start to fantasize about having sex with my would-be husband, because I’m NOT married to him YET, I’m already fornicating in my mind and I’m committing sin because thinking about sin is as good as doing it.
Now that we’ve established and understood by God’s grace that thinking about sin has the same grave consequences as doing the act, let’s move forward.
Let’s understand what Sexual Activities mean, when people think about fornication or adultery, they immediately think of sex (the action) and the type of sex that comes to mind is penetrational sex (the word is self explanatory already) but we forget that there’s something called oral sex, phone sex, sex in the mind etc.
I remember some years back I had oral sex with a certain someone and I told my friend who is of another faith about it, here’s how the conversation went:
Bookie: Hey boo, guess what? I gave head today and it was awesome.
M: Lol really? You go girl! But do you know you just had sex?
Bookie: No now, how can? It was just oral, no penetration involved jo.
M: Oral sex is still sex, penetration or not.
Oral sex is still sex; hell, the name itself still includes sex. Oral sex is a sin because we’ve established that having sex with someone you’re not married to is a sin (fornication).
Oral sex, penetrational sex and other forms of sex (phone sex, hand job etc) is a sin (fornication) when done between unmarried people.
Point 3 – All forms of sexual activities (oral, penetrational, hand job, phone sex, sex in the mind etc) done between unmarried people is fornication which is a sin.
I have a theory which all of us can relate to and I will break each down for better understanding:
Touching -> Kissing -> Fondling/Smooching -> Sex (Oral or Penetrational).
Touching, Kissing, Fondling/Smooching are the means to an end, the end being Sex, let’s understand this better.
Touching: Imagine this; you’re in a car or room or empty space with someone you really like or have a crush on (opposite or same sex), the ac is on and blowing your brain, the weather is cool and it’s dark outside and you both are talking, holding hands, he’s touching your cheeks saying aww your cheeks are so soft, your palms are so soft, your skin is so smooth just like a baby’s and you’re there melting away by his touch.
Now ideally, HUGGING IS NOT A SIN. HOLDING HANDS IS NOT A SIN. It only becomes a sin once lustful desire enters it, so if you hug this brother and it is as if you’ve entered his body already (uhnhun you know that kind of hug girl), lust has entered it so it is a sin, understood?
From touching, the guy (or girl) is setting a foundation for other activities to follow suit. You can’t touch someone in sensitive/sensual places only to pray with them later, hello? Come on, let’s not kid ourselves abeg.
Since touching is setting the ground for other things to follow suit, you would’ve already THOUGHT about those other things and remember we said “thinking about the act is as good as doing it which is fornication which in turn is a sin”
Kissing: Have you ever realized that once you kiss a person you’re never satisfied? You want to keep kissing that person and if you can’t, you start thinking about that kiss when you get home/when you’re idle, has it happened to anyone here? Kissing wasn’t made to satisfy but aggravate. You kiss someone to set them in the mood; you kiss someone to light up that spark for further activities.
Kissing someone can be likened to this situation illustrated below:
Friend A: Come make we go kitchen.
Friend B: Okay, make we go.
Friend A: *puts on gas and lights it up*
Friend B: Wetin you wan cook?
Friend A: Nothing oh I just wan light gas dey look am.
Friend B: E be like sey you no well.
You can’t kiss someone only to stop in-between, even if you stop in between, either of you would’ve thought about or would still think about what was supposed to happen after kissing which brings us back to the point raised earlier “thinking of the act is as good as doing it already which in turn is fornication which is a sin”
Fondling/Smooching: As you’re kissing this guy/girl, your hands start to trace his/her body, from squeezing the breasts to scratching of the guy’s back to aggravated touching of the whole body. Haaayyyy! If you’re lucky to stop there, that doesn’t mean you won’t be judged in the same measure as someone who went the full throttle. As fondling and kissing and touching are ongoing, either or both of you will be thinking about the end game, sex. Remember, fondling/smooching is to increase your sexual desires and not to suppress them. We can establish that touching someone lustfully or with lustful desires/intentions in the heart is fornicating with that person which in turn is a sin.
Sex: The end game, ghen ghen. Now some people will say they didn’t do the do but they had oral or “he gave me head” or “I only gave him head oh, we didn’t have sex”, what nonsense are you saying? Oral sex as we established earlier is sex! Whether there is no penetration or there is, so far you’re fondling with your sexual organs, girl you just had sex with this guy! We know sex (old plain knowledge) is fornication which is a sin.
Now can you see that no matter what you do, be it touching or kissing or smooching or sex itself or just thinking about either of the four, it all boils down to fornication which is a sin?
All in all, what truly matters is our walk with God. We need to live by the principles of Christ and let the Holy Spirit dwell in our lives, don’t forget the Bible says in 1 Corinthians 6:19 (Good News) “Don’t you know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and who was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourselves but to God. If we live our lives knowing that there is a temple built in our bodies for the Holy Spirit to reside in, we would not want to involve ourselves in things that are displeasing unto the Spirit or things that will cause the temple of the Holy Spirit to be dirty and whatnot.
I pray God helps us all in our walk with Him, let’s say this little prayer of confession:
Dear Lord, maker of Heaven & Earth, I bless your name and I thank you for what I just read, please forgive me of all my sins, those I did knowingly and those I did unknowingly, please come cleanse my spirit, let me be one with you through Christ out Lord & Saviour, let your Spirit help me and let me continue to live a life pleasing unto your Holy Name, thank you Lord, in Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.
The comment box is open, if you want to contribute or ask some questions, please feel free and if you’re led to reply some questions being asked by some people, please feel free.
Thank you Grace & thank you Epiphany29.com readers for lending me this space, hope we all learned something today? Kisses!