It was 1 A.M, I was lying in bed listening to faded by Alan Walker when she knocked on my door ever so lightly. At first I thought I had imagined it all but…
I heard it again. Her knocks were as soft as her voice and so I let her in wondering why she was knocking at my door so late. Without a word she climbed into my bed and let me cradle her in my arms. I could tell she had been crying from her sniffles and wet cheeks. Oh! my poor darling.
We remained in that foetal position for what seemed like decades until she lifted her night shirt and pointed at different areas saying “it hurts Gracey, it really hurts”. I understood what she meant. She was showing me all her exit wounds. I rocked her gently, trying so hard to give her comfort and closure I knew only she could find by herself and that’s when she let me in, pointing at each ‘scar’ narrating her experience, trying so hard not to cry. In her weakness she was showing strength and my heart was breaking for her.
She talked and talked and I listened hugging her from time to time. She talked about her near rape experiences, the physical & mental abuse she had endured in the hands of men she thought she was safe with. She talked about the cheating, the betrayal, the mind games and oh the pain. She talked about not being able to heal for she knew not how to. “How do you heal from wounds that are self inflicted she asked”? How do you deal when each time they leave it’s all your fault?
She blamed herself for everything saying if only she did things differently, if only she was a happier person, maybe just maybe one of them would have loved her enough to stay. At this point I’m hurting along with her wondering how she could blame her self so blindly for the things that have happened to her. Wasn’t she aware of how beautiful her soul was? Didn’t she know that they left cos they were undeserving of her? How was I to convince her that she wasn’t the problem?[ctt title=”But Darling, regardless of what you\’ve been through, you have permission to heal.” tweet=”But Darling, regardless of what you’ve been through, you have permission to heal” coverup=”4fd8w”]
How could a person know only pain and not how to heal? She felt her exit wounds were too many, her scars too deep, she felt no one wanted her. I held her tightly, cooing her, softly stroking her face and hair, urging her to be calm.
Time passed. I must have drifted off to sleep cos when I woke up, there she lay looking so peacful, so calm. There she lay, dead from all the pain caused by the exit wounds.
How does one heal?
This is very nice…
One needs to know that healing takes time, it will not come overnight and we need to constantly remind ourselves of how strong we have been and how healing is the only way to move forward.
Some wounds never really heal… especially because we cannot heal ourselves… our body is not the same as our mind is.
I prefer to not be religious but truth be told only the one who made a thing is able to fix it….
For some reasons this made me cry, maybe because I was crying earlier. Lol. Healing is a very hard process. I’m a strong believer of Christ so I’ll contribute based on that angle. The best way to heal is through the Holy Spirit. God can make you heal, in the Holy Spirit we find comfort. There’s a certain kind of love you begin to experience as you begin to get closer to God. An one more thing is Love! When my Ex boyfriend broke up with me, I was devastated because I felt I was doing everything right but he still didn’t think I was good enough. I felt like a failure. This cannot be compared to issues like rape but I had so much love around me. People who made me feel good.
I needed this so much. Healing does take time, when all the pain finally goes away…the smile is always beautiful. Nice post dear.
I can totally relate. I’m going thru d same pains and wondering how and wen will i heal. D pain is unbearable, my chest tightens like my heart is abt 2 burst. Only sleep brings peace, den waking up 2 reality, it gets worse. But i knw it’ll surely get better wit time. Dey say time heal all wounds.
Time… just erases memories. Till someone taps on it just when you’d forgotten all about it..like a temporary fix….
Hmmmm. Some things we will neva get over. Thankfully time dulls the pain. Looking back I can now see that every time I cried, it was God sorting me out. I believe when we give our lives to our maker, he alone will help us nagivate thru life and see everything as a process.
However it is compulsory to love self, know who you are and live positively.
Healing takes time.. Its mostly a mental process, you can choose to shut out whatever hurt you in the past and let it stay shut out!!! It takes a conscious decision to heal!
It takes Faith!! It takes GOD!!!
Healing is really never the easiest thing, but once you have *Him at your side, be sure you’ll do great. To brighten up the room a little, your all invited to my Birthday party tomorrow… 🙂
This is such a beautiful write up Grace!!
Healing is really from within and you have to consciously let your hurt go. It will take time and more effort but after it’s done you’ll experience so much happiness.
This is such a beautiful piece. As cliché and spiritual as it sounds. God heals ALL pain. Every single one. You just have to let him in and giving him control. See, giving up the control is the hard part
My dear Gracey you know how to arrange words beautifully. 🙂
This was raw and so real. I love how it progressed steadily as the message was gradually unveiled. It resonated so deeply with me and is currently my favourite post on your blog.
Self inflicted wounds are quite tricky as one has to first forgive their self so that healing can begin. I thought about how grief from mourning a loved one’s death also leaves exit wounds.
Yes, healing is a process, but I wonder if it’s ever a complete process? There are times when memories refresh the pain of the supposedly healed wound. It feels as though the wound closes on the outside but is still bloody on the inside.
Thank you so much for sharing this inspiring piece. Have a lovely weekend.
My 5 steps to healing till the healing is done……
1. Cuss the evil doer out thoroughly
2. Cry….cry till you ache physically from all that crying
3. Then cry some more
4. Turn to the Rock that is higher than u daily for strength
5. Put back the smile on your face and get on with your life
Lovely write up grace! This is beautiful! This writing will definitely get people through hard times. Thank you!
Wow! Words can’t describe what is going on in my mind. I just feel that we as women have gone through enough already and the society we live in isn’t helping matters in the first place. We need to be a shining light for each other instead of bashing one another because of envy and competition.
I lot of women who go through abuse commit suicide because no body was there to just hold them and say all will be well. That is where the healing begins.
Lovely Piece. Thanks for sharing
This is so lovely, time does heal all wounds.
Oftentimes the troubles with the healing process are that we get nostalgic and we magnify the hurt. It’s a good thing she could find closure in you. Unfortunately, that could be temporal.
He heals the broken-hearted and binds up their wounds. Psalms 147:3
Time may heal all wounds, but is the person transformed by the scars from the fractured heart or is the person reformed to an original state of purity; like the innocence of babies? That restoration is divine.
Hmmm Amazing write up…. How to heal? first! Pray! For wisdom and strength. Secondly! accepting the need to heal, so that when u back slide, ur reason for starting d healing process is around to corner to remind u and get u back on track.
Third! Learn from ur mistake and finally have a clear understanding of urself! The way u fuction and self worth.