2015 And I…

It’s the last day of the year, I’m lying in bed, thinking back to the 1st of Jan 2015, and I’m completely in awe of how awesome God is.

I’m not big on new year resolutions. I have never written down any and I wonder how well people keep to theirs. I simply tell myself ”I’m going to be a better version of myself this year” and work towards it. Or at least I try to.

2015, has indeed been an amazing year. It taught me quite a few valueable lessons. Lessons that helped shape me and I believe will help me in the coming year(s).

2015 And I…

How to be Patient. Naturally, I am a patient person but I learnt how to be more patient with not just people, but with situations and expectations. I realised that all that unnecessary anxiety was me doing myself no good and I usually ended up restless and sad. 

How to trust. I won’t lie and say I learnt how to trust people completely, but I did up my trust metre alil more. I found a friend I could open up to, no holds barred and got no judgements in return. It sure felt good to be able to really let go. On the flip side, I learnt to trust God totally. I realised how easy it is for us to say we do trust God but end up trying to ‘assist him’ in ways we shouldn’t. That’s our doubt in motion you know. My slogan this year was ‘Let go and let God’.

How to love.  Even though this happened late into the year, I fell in love with me some more. Okay, alot more than I’ve been over the years. Not the conceited kind of self love, but the kind where I realised that acceptance of self is vital. In the past, I accepted me based on the validation and love gotten from others and that’s the worst thing anyone could do to themselves. No more! Thank you “Cheesy Jay”. You have no idea how much you’ve helped me achieve this.

How to listen. Over the years, I’ve been somewhat selfish. Quick to complain about how shitty I felt my life was. I’d have convos with friends and realise, I took up 70% barely leaving room to listen to them and talk about stuff they are dealing with. For those of you who have stayed even though I’ve been such a bad friend, I say thank you. Yall are the real MVPs.

How to let go. For fear of being alone, I’ve held on to people. The toxic and non toxic kind. I put up with things I hated, unhealthy friendships/relationships alike. This part of me died the minute I accepted that being alone isn’t such a bad thing. It gives me time to get to know me alot more and plan better. It also helps me identify the kind of people I need around me. People who accept me with all my weird, quirky ways.

How to pray and give praise. I learnt how to pray more. Not the morning get out of bed and night time for bed prayers, not the lord I’m in trouble or I need something kind of prayers, but how to talk to God. It’s really not as hard as most people think it is. It’s actually the most soothing thing ever. When I feel me going into a mood, I pray. When I don’t really have anything to say, I praise and thank him for everything he does for me.

How to be grateful. It’s funny how we often take for granted things we feel are normal. Oh its normal to have food to eat, its normal to have good clothes, good health et al until you are faced with the opposite situation. I met a girl who these things didn’t come easy to, but she was so full of life and gratitude for being alive. She looked at me and said, “As long as there’s life, there’s hope”.

How to live. Yes! I learnt how to live alil more. I went out more, did things I wouldn’t normally do, took decisions and risks that turned out positive. I basically left my comfort zone.

How to forgive. This year, I learnt how to really forgive. In the past, I’d say I had forgiven but would later realise I hadn’t. All that changed this year. Once I made up my mind to forgive, I actually did. I just didn’t go back to all who wronged me hehe.

That’s about it I think. A massive thank you to you guys. Without your love and support, this blog wouldn’t be. I wish you all the very best of 2016. What did 2015 teach you?

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