Marry

“When will you marry; this year, next year, sometime or never? January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August…?”

As little girls, we would jump rope chanting this song happily unaware of how serious this ‘when will you marry’ question would become in not so many years after (time really flies you know). The way we would clap and jeer when someone missed a jump and stopped on a month, teasing the person with some boys name, picking out dates and even claiming the role of chief bridesmaid. Oh the bliss of childhood.

When Will You Marry?

Fast forward to some 14, 15, 16 years later, most of us are done with university and all that necessary stuff. Yea, we’ve probably dated a few guys, nothing too serious okay except for that first boyfriend we were so smitten by and probably thought he was ‘the one’ if there’s such a thing. Or maybe the other one we thought could never do us any harm but left us in our pool of tears and mucus… Some of us have experienced relationships so bad we rather not think or venture into another so soon. Then there’s the reality of so many failed marriages laced with abusive partners and we shudder at the thought that, that could be us. Or is it in this world we live in where cheating seems to be the norm? Where even young wives throw their hands up in acceptance saying ‘Men will always cheat, it’s in their nature, there’s nothing I can do about it, he shouldn’t bring home any STDs”, leaving little seeds of doubt and worry in the minds of those of us albeit few in number who do not particularly follow this school of thought and acceptance but are seeing the growing trend and … sigh! You know what.

Some of us are currently in relationships but do not even know where its leading to, yet we are too scared to have that talk with him for fear of the shocking reality that could be thrown at us, for it could either go south, or the way we would like it to go. Funny enough, the guy might call things off not cos he doesn’t want to be with you but out of pressure. So in scenarios like this, you jejely stay put and mute in the relationship until … well you know what again.

Some of us don’t even want to get married. Shocking but true. Some just want to have a kid or two with some dashing man and that’s it for they cannot deal with the “drama” that comes with marriage.  They would rather have that peace of mind they believe comes with not having a man adding to their long list of troubles.

Some of us would like to get married but feel we aren’t there yet and by there I mean mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually and even financially. What’s the point venturing into marriage without being able to bring anything to the table. Well except you’re marrying into Dangotes family and even then, you still need to have something to offer.

Some of us have been proposed to but then it hit us, the reality of the big question ‘Will you marry me? Only then do we realise that we aren’t even ready yet. Or a mental long list of things we can’t live with pops straight into our minds and then we begin to wonder how on earth we coped in the relationship.

Some of us are just plain clueless.

In recent times, I’ve been asked the when will you marry question. No, not from my parents or relatives yet, but from friends of the same peer who just got married, some not even up to a year. They go on telling me how to act and what to say so he will see me as wife material. Some go as far as saying, if he says jump, I’m to ask how high. Hmmm. Is that really what determines if he will pop the question? Beats me. Anyway,  I don’t blame them, they are after all Mrs somebody. No one cares to ask if I’m ready and all that.

All I’m trying to say is apart from the obvious in most cases which is the ‘Not even in a relationship status’, different people have different reasons for holding off when it comes to marriage. As I sat drafting this post, a good friend sent me a link to an article that summed all what i’ve been trying to say. Awesome coincidence. You can read the article Here and get the full gist of it all. Saves me all the typing hehehhe. Sorry guys.

To all the married ladies, friends, parents and relatives asking we the single ladies when we will get married, please bear with us okay. Some of us just want to marry and be happy than to marry and be….Well Just Married. Forever is a very long time you know.

PS: Errr we can’t marry ourselves sha.

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21 thoughts on “When Will You Marry???”

  1. Nice article. I honestly believe the magic isn’t in getting married but rather in staying married. A lot of people rush into it out of pressure like you rightly said.

    I have a friend that is dating someone who is a thousand miles below her standard all because she’s looking for a “husband”.

    That is what is known as settling and it honestly shouldn’t get to that stage until at least she is almost in her 40’s maybe

    There’s really no need to rush ladies. Like you said, forever is a long time so enjoy your single life while it lasts.

    1. Hi A Loco Viva Voce,

      I agree with you. A lot of ladies tend to settle or rush into marriage cos they feel at a certain age they should be married. While some have it good, others don’t and wish they didn’t rush into it. Sigh, the matter tire me sef.

  2. This marriage thing has been in the air for some weeks now, a lot of my friends/people I know have recently been getting engaged and the sorts and reality just kicks in ; mans are actually getting old and are you ready?
    Me I know I still have plenty things to do with my life Lol so for now can I please sleep on this topic.
    Great post
    Toyinwithfashion.com

      1. Nice article! I agree with you. Every girl should enjoy her singlehood and not rush into marriage because of societal pressure. the grass is not always greener on the other side and you could fall in to bad hands because you were desperate, and did not look before you leaped. Or rather, you were desperate, you looked, saw the signs but still decided to leap so the tag of singlehood would be removed by society…. *Sigh*

        Calabar Gal

  3. Funny thing is I was just telling my friend yesterday that I don’t understand what the rush is all about. I mean, I would not wait until I’m old and wrinkled but if I am going to do it at all, I might as well do it right and get it right the first time too. The problem is there is too much pressure and people make it their business to tell you what and what not to do. Abeg we cannot come and kill ourselves jare.
    wumituase.wordpress.com

  4. lovely article. the question of marriage is something I get a lot esp from ma recently married frnds bt evrytym I tell dem that there’s no attendance for late comers in marriage. na slow and steady wins the race

  5. I don’t think I’ve ever asked my single friends when they’ll get married. Since I got that question for years and years, I know what it feels like. The truth is it will happen eventually, and I personally don’t think there’s a rush. To each his or her own.

    Berry Dakara Blog

  6. Nice post. People should understand that everyone’s journey is not the same. Some may never marry and others may marry later in life, while others may marry multiple times. I don’t know why people (outside of family) are so concerned. Does it improve your life if your friend is married? To each his (or her) own.

  7. wow! nice article,u just wrote down my feelings,views and answers to the ‘when will you marry’ question. Have read thru most of your articles, we seem to share same view and feelings about a lot of things.

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