“When will you marry; this year, next year, sometime or never? January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August…?”
As little girls, we would jump rope chanting this song happily unaware of how serious this ‘when will you marry’ question would become in not so many years after (time really flies you know). The way we would clap and jeer when someone missed a jump and stopped on a month, teasing the person with some boys name, picking out dates and even claiming the role of chief bridesmaid. Oh the bliss of childhood.
When Will You Marry?
Fast forward to some 14, 15, 16 years later, most of us are done with university and all that necessary stuff. Yea, we’ve probably dated a few guys, nothing too serious okay except for that first boyfriend we were so smitten by and probably thought he was ‘the one’ if there’s such a thing. Or maybe the other one we thought could never do us any harm but left us in our pool of tears and mucus… Some of us have experienced relationships so bad we rather not think or venture into another so soon. Then there’s the reality of so many failed marriages laced with abusive partners and we shudder at the thought that, that could be us. Or is it in this world we live in where cheating seems to be the norm? Where even young wives throw their hands up in acceptance saying ‘Men will always cheat, it’s in their nature, there’s nothing I can do about it, he shouldn’t bring home any STDs”, leaving little seeds of doubt and worry in the minds of those of us albeit few in number who do not particularly follow this school of thought and acceptance but are seeing the growing trend and … sigh! You know what.
Some of us are currently in relationships but do not even know where its leading to, yet we are too scared to have that talk with him for fear of the shocking reality that could be thrown at us, for it could either go south, or the way we would like it to go. Funny enough, the guy might call things off not cos he doesn’t want to be with you but out of pressure. So in scenarios like this, you jejely stay put and mute in the relationship until … well you know what again.
Some of us don’t even want to get married. Shocking but true. Some just want to have a kid or two with some dashing man and that’s it for they cannot deal with the “drama” that comes with marriage. They would rather have that peace of mind they believe comes with not having a man adding to their long list of troubles.
Some of us would like to get married but feel we aren’t there yet and by there I mean mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually and even financially. What’s the point venturing into marriage without being able to bring anything to the table. Well except you’re marrying into Dangotes family and even then, you still need to have something to offer.
Some of us have been proposed to but then it hit us, the reality of the big question ‘Will you marry me? Only then do we realise that we aren’t even ready yet. Or a mental long list of things we can’t live with pops straight into our minds and then we begin to wonder how on earth we coped in the relationship.
Some of us are just plain clueless.
In recent times, I’ve been asked the when will you marry question. No, not from my parents or relatives yet, but from friends of the same peer who just got married, some not even up to a year. They go on telling me how to act and what to say so he will see me as wife material. Some go as far as saying, if he says jump, I’m to ask how high. Hmmm. Is that really what determines if he will pop the question? Beats me. Anyway, I don’t blame them, they are after all Mrs somebody. No one cares to ask if I’m ready and all that.
All I’m trying to say is apart from the obvious in most cases which is the ‘Not even in a relationship status’, different people have different reasons for holding off when it comes to marriage. As I sat drafting this post, a good friend sent me a link to an article that summed all what i’ve been trying to say. Awesome coincidence. You can read the article Here and get the full gist of it all. Saves me all the typing hehehhe. Sorry guys.
To all the married ladies, friends, parents and relatives asking we the single ladies when we will get married, please bear with us okay. Some of us just want to marry and be happy than to marry and be….Well Just Married. Forever is a very long time you know.
PS: Errr we can’t marry ourselves sha.