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Acceptance in human psychology is a person’s assent to the reality of a situation, recognizing a process or condition (often a negative or uncomfortable situation) without attempting to change it, protest. The concept is close in meaning to ‘acquiescence’, derived from the Latin ‘acquiēscere’ (to find rest in) – Wikipedia.

Hey loves! so I decided to add a little sum’n sum’n to the blog to spice it up some more and came up with ‘Talk Thursday’. Here, we get to talk about anything and everything, no holds barred, and I’m kicking the first of this series off with Acceptance.

I remember when I hated me. Yes, you read that right. I hated me. I hated my life and I was constantly comparing myself to other girls and people in general. I didn’t think I was pretty enough, I didn’t think I was smart enough and I definitely didn’t think I was cool enough. At an early age I was dealing with insecurities I had no business dealing with. The horror. I didn’t, couldn’t accept who and how I was at the time.

Growing up, I was shy. I am still a bit shy but I can handle myself better now. My sister bought me my first bra when I was in jss3 I think. I was mortified. It was the cutest pink and white mickey mouse bra ever but I was in JSS3! I cried and cried cos I felt I was too young for a bra. I didn’t understand why I should have breasts big enough to need a bra at that age. I would walk down the road using the inner pathways, or if I was carrying a bag, I would use it to cover my chest area. I never ever changed in front of my sisters or anyone. Boy, was it annoying. I hated my legs too. I felt they weren’t straight enough plus I was a bit of a tomboy growing up so I had a few scars on my legs. I hated my feet and hands, arrrgh. I wanted dainty feet and hands. Why didn’t I have dainty feet and hands I would ask myself and God? I thought I looked boyish and it got to me ALOT. I started wearing glasses at a tender age and for whatever reason, in Jss2, my frames were big and round. That fetched me the nickname ‘Bora’ Bora Milutinovic (boys can be silly sha lol). Thank God that didn’t stick for too long lol. I swore I would get not only breast reduction, but a total overhaul of my ‘ugly’ areas as soon as I was old enough and could afford it. Silly me. But really what did I know back then.

I would lock myself in my room, refuse to go out most of the time cos of how I felt. Little wonder I have very few friends. I preferred being alone. The few people I let in would often tell me I’ve got a beautiful soul, but I never quite understood what they meant, not until now.

Fast forward to the present, I love me. I’m not just saying it, I actually mean it. I have learnt to accept who I am and all that I have. I see so many women going under the knife to get bigger boobs and here I am filling out my clothes nicely. I was killing myself over not having straight legs when there are so many crippled people out there. Yes, I’ve got big feet (I’m a size 40) but so what? My sisters are the same size and I get to steal their shoes. I hardly use makeup and people keep telling me I’m naturally beautiful. These days, big frames are tagged fashionable so yes, I’ve been fashionable from way back. Bye bye Bora, say hi to this lil diva hahaha. Truth is, I didn’t come to love and accept me on my own. I got help from a very good friend of mine who held my hand through all my downtimes and reminded me constantly how smart, blessed and beautiful I am, and I also talked to God about my silly little worries too. I’m sure he had good laughs over them but he helped me through it all.

I was chatting with a buddie of mine some weeks ago and he kept teasing me on how back in high school, I was one of the ‘it girls’ . He went on and on about how boys wanted my attention, scenarios of things that happened in the boys dorm when my name came up, how one time I wore his sweater in class and when he got to dorm, some boys wanted the sweater looool . Oh my, did I have a good laugh but at the same time thought of the irony of it all. There I was battling with my insecurities while boys where fawning over me 

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Psalm 139:14 – I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well.

I’m really glad I have come to accept me for who and how I am. I go out more now, interact with people more and I am indeed a happier person. As a human being, I still deal with other insecurities but none big enough to stop me from loving me. What’s your story? Please share using the comment box.

Talk Thursday is open to everyone. You can send in your own stories too and I’ll put it up. You can remain anonymous if you don’t want your name published.

XOXO…

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13 thoughts on “Talk Thursday || Acceptance.”

  1. Loool its funny reading this post cos ur one of the girls I truly admire and well back then envied cos I believed u had it all,but this isn’t about u its about me. I had maaaajor insecurity issues and it lasted till a later part of my life. I hated my boobs (still do),my height , my legs,my belly,my sense of style,my face… I nvr thought I was pretty or smart cos boy are my siblings smart. this made me almost never speak in front of people and I was a tomboy (still am,sort of)…despite the fact that peeps called me fine girl and hot chic I always saw it that they were making fun of me.
    Now I’m learning to love and accept myself even though I have weight insecurities now (I believe I’m grossly overweight and not a sight to behold)..unfortunately I don’t have anyone helping me deal with these issues…so I just pray to God for help to deal with them on my own,and I’m learning to love myself more now.

    1. Hi Chidi. We may not all have that one person to help us through stuff like this but one thing I do know and I’m sure of is, acceptance and self love starts with us. I believe my friend could help cos I was ready to love and accept me. I’m sure if you looked within, theres so much to love about urself. All these drama we put ourselves through over physical things lol. It is well. Kisses.

  2. Yeah! Uve been a fashionista from the days of “Bora”..Lol. How come that gist has been in the dark all this years? Most hilarious post ever. Great analysis.
    U know when I said I would get u a soccer ball as a gift..that was a sincere compliment to say u r fit & smart..
    Its funny what we think of ourselves while growing up.
    Have you thought of the shape of my head lately? Oh my, I thought I had the longest rear ever. It was a point of ridicule while growing up but as God would have it, i later found a defence. As I hardly studied for exams thru primary & high school days & would still top the class, everything turned around. When peers picked on me, I would say ‘the reason for my “Ogor” is cos God gave me extra brain & that ws why I turned out smarter than them’.. They soon learned how to keep quiet.
    Aside that..hmmm, I was too nonchalant to be dissatisfied with myself or let’s just say my life has been on autopilot.

    Back to you gracey, I am proud of the beeyuteeful lady you have always been, the hurdles uve crossed & battles uve conquered with God…keep doing what u do bora (Lol…u know I wldnt forget that) & let me be the first to say happy birthday in advance. xoxo

  3. Hmmmm, I’ve accepted that the people who I love and cherish will not necessarily love and accept me, I continue mainly because I’m wired that way.

    I’ve accepted the fact that gossip stems from clueless minds and enjoyed by jobless people so when I hear talk abt me. Well it’s a chance for me to get amused.

    I’ve accepted the fact that most of d time I’m on my own. It’s only God who has got me 100 percent and based on this I’ve adopted d expect nothing from no one, ul hurt less.

    I’ve accepted that procrastination is laziness so I’m trying to do what I shd in good time, happy that’s getting beta.

    I’ve always being passive abt my body when I was a toothpick and even now, so I’m always surprised when I read I felt I was too short, had big head. Biko God made me in his image and likeness and knew he did good, need I say more, im perfect. If u no gree, pele.( trying to break up wid coke though) .

    I’ve accepted most importantly that my part in life and choice if career is different, im blessed that from the get go, I know my calling and I believe I can do all things thru christ who strengthens me.

    I used to wonder why bad things happen to good people ( yes I’m a good person) well now I don’t anymore I’m convinced good things still happen to good people and every experience is a learning curve, good or bad.

    I’ve accepted that God makes it all beta, lines in pleasant places, life more meaningful, so he shd come first in word and in deed and that alone makes me world beautiful.

    Say no to insecurities…………

  4. People lash out at people bcos of their own insecurities. I sure wish I knew then what I know now.
    In secondary school I was called ‘ori’ cos the boys said I had a big head and once they even drew a caricature of me and they thought it was hilarious. Of cos I was really upset then but now I m smarter knowing that I shouldn’t waste energy on haters.
    Today I am married to the world’s cutest with a heart focused on God; what more could a girl ask for.

    Created in His image and likeness that’s what defines me.

  5. #Acceptance….hmmmm…#Sigh….#Speechless, not because I dont have what to say but because I have too much and don’t know where to start from. As everyone else has mentioned, I too struggled with being accepted. From my secondary school days to Uni, among friends and even family.

    You know when they say “Everybody’s sheep is no body’s sheep?”, yea I struggled with the reality of finding my identity, finding home among my friends and family without having to work for it or prove it. I have always being the “good girl” or “hardworking girl” or “very focused girl” and I wonder, if i wasn’t any of these things, will i still be loved for just being part of the family unit or part of the friends..

    I barely talk about my issues, I tag them “the real issues”, for me, its a sign of weakness and pouring out my burden on people struggling to hold on their theirs and so i keep them to myself and smile all the way.

    My pillow is official tired of my tears, but with each morning, I wake up to renewed strength. But as a continue my walk in the journey of life, I realized that one person has always accepted me and loved me as such. And his acceptance of me as been the inner strength that keeps me going. I haven’t completely dealt with the issue of man’s acceptance of me but I have let God’s acceptance of me keep me going and doing that which i was born for.

  6. We all at some point in our lives battle with certain insecurities. In all this we fail to realize that it is not our “big head”, “over-sized boobs” e.t.c that is the problem, but our deformed minds.

    It is all in our minds, these poor images we have of ourselves. We win the battle when we defeat those negative voices we let sit on the throne of knives (credit to game of thrones) in our heads! Even the bible says, “…a man cannot live (or be) above his thoughts”.
    We also need to learn to kill that tendency to compare ourselves with that other “awesome person” and hence look down on probably “more awesome” us. That is limiting our own talents and abilities.

    Not all fingers are equal; some are longer than the other yet they are like that for a purpose. We are different and special in our own ways. And that is true.

    This is an awesome read, “Bora”, I mean Grace! Lol

    JC

  7. I really enjoyed this post and the comments.
    I will follow up more on this blog. I have been missing a lot!

    I struggled with acceptance as a child. I was confused about who I was and how to conduct myself.
    This made me stay away from people as much as I could(it was hard to do cos I was like a goldfish). I filled those moments with ‘day dreams’.

    As I got older, things changed. It felt like I had been seeing life in black and white shades. I got saved and suddenly noticed beautiful colours! Jesus Christ indeed makes the difference. I made new good friends, got closer to some family members and embraced change.

    I also struggled with my physical appearance. I felt my body was uneven, I had a big fleshy tummy(did so many things to get it down but all failed), tiny legs and dark lips(pink lipsticks turn purple on them). But now, am so grateful to God for my body. My husband tells me that constantly and I get compliments from family and friends!!

    Now I have accepted who Iam, where Iam and where God is taking me.

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