Is Kissing A Sin???




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Yesterday, Bookie of bookiekunlere.com and I were laughing over her little predicament. It had to do with a lipstick review post she was working on. The lipstick wouldn’t come off even though she had tried everything to get it off. After all our laughter and bants, we agreed that the lipstick was long lasting and I made a reference to kissing to which Bookie replied,  ‘Grace, Kissing is a sin’. She went on to explain why she said it was a sin and we decided Talk Thursday would be a cool platform to air her opinion.

 SO, IS KISSING A SIN?


Lol let’s take a moment to laugh abeg because this topic is too funny.
First, I have to thank my all-so-naughty friend Grace for honoring me with this platform to talk to you guys on Talk Thursday, thanks hunnay, God bless you!
Now let’s get back to the topic at hand, Is Kissing A Sin?
I’m going to try as much as possible to break this topic as far down as it can go so we can put two and two together, coupled with the Word of God and by His Spirit, gain understanding, it will be quite lengthy so bare with me.
First I want to believe most of us reading this are Christians and we’re Bible believing Christians (we walk by the principles of Christ), yes? Okay. I want to believe that one time or the other in our lives we must have heard/seen/watched movies about Fornication and Adultery.

What is Fornication? Fornication in plain terms is boy meets girl, girl meets boy, boy meets boy, girl meets girl (both unmarried) and they get involved in sexual activities.
What is Adultery? Adultery in plain terms relates to a man and woman (married) and either of them takes a step out of marriage to get involved in sexual activities with another person or with others.
We all know the Bible says Fornication/Adultery is a sin? No? Let’s read the following Bible verses.
Exodus 20:14 (KJV) Thou shall not commit adultery.
(Good News) Do not commit adultery.
1 Corinthians 6:9-10 (KJV) Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God.

(Good News) Surely you know that the wicked will not posses God’s Kingdom. Do not fool yourselves; people who are immoral or who worship idols or are adulterers or homosexual perverts or who steal or are greedy or are drunkards or who slander others or are thieves – none of these will possess God’s Kingdom.
1 Corinthians 6:18 (KJV) Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body.
(Good News) Avoid immorality. Any other sin a man commits does not affect his body but the man who is guilty of sexual immorality sins against his own body.
Proverbs 6:32 (KJV) Whoever commits adultery with a woman lacks understanding; He who does so destroys his own soul.

For further reading, read Leviticus 18 & 20, 1 Corinthians 5 & 6, Hebrews 13:4, Proverbs 6:26-32, Matthew 5:27-30.
Point 1 – Fornication/Adultery is a sin.
Matthew 5:28 (Good News) says “But now I tell you: anyone who looks at a woman (or man) and wants to possess her (or him) is guilty of committing adultery (or fornication) with her in his (or her) heart” Let’s bring this Scripture into more modern terms shall we?
If I see this dark-skinned-toned-muscles-intoxicating-perfume-wearing fine brother walking past or just a picture on Instagram, and I’ve already undressed him in my mind and done a million and one things with him in my imagination while my fellow friend goes ahead to do the do with this same brother, according to what Jesus said above, both me and my friend who did the do will face the same level of judgment because a man (or woman) who looks at a woman (or man) lustfully is deemed to have fornicated with her (or him) in his (or her) heart.

From this Scripture therefore, we can deduce that thinking about the act/thinking about fornicating is as good as doing it already, agreed?
Point 2 – Lustful thinking of the opposite sex (or same sex as the case may be) is as good as doing it physically which in turn is fornication/adultery which is a sin.
If I’m here in Nigeria, unmarried but engaged to this fine brother and I start to fantasize about having sex with my would-be husband, because I’m NOT married to him YET, I’m already fornicating in my mind and I’m committing sin because thinking about sin is as good as doing it.

Now that we’ve established and understood by God’s grace that thinking about sin has the same grave consequences as doing the act, let’s move forward.
Let’s understand what Sexual Activities mean, when people think about fornication or adultery, they immediately think of sex (the action) and the type of sex that comes to mind is penetrational sex (the word is self explanatory already) but we forget that there’s something called oral sex, phone sex, sex in the mind etc.
I remember some years back I had oral sex with a certain someone and I told my friend who is of another faith about it, here’s how the conversation went:

Bookie: Hey boo, guess what? I gave head today and it was awesome.
M: Lol really? You go girl! But do you know you just had sex?
Bookie: No now, how can? It was just oral, no penetration involved jo.
M: Oral sex is still sex, penetration or not.
Oral sex is still sex; hell, the name itself still includes sex. Oral sex is a sin because we’ve established that having sex with someone you’re not married to is a sin (fornication).
Oral sex, penetrational sex and other forms of sex (phone sex, hand job etc) is a sin (fornication) when done between unmarried people.
Point 3 – All forms of sexual activities (oral, penetrational, hand job, phone sex, sex in the mind etc) done between unmarried people is fornication which is a sin.
I have a theory which all of us can relate to and I will break each down for better understanding:
Touching -> Kissing -> Fondling/Smooching -> Sex (Oral or Penetrational).
Touching, Kissing, Fondling/Smooching are the means to an end, the end being Sex, let’s understand this better.

Touching: Imagine this; you’re in a car or room or empty space with someone you really like or have a crush on (opposite or same sex), the ac is on and blowing your brain, the weather is cool and it’s dark outside and you both are talking, holding hands, he’s touching your cheeks saying aww your cheeks are so soft, your palms are so soft, your skin is so smooth just like a baby’s and you’re there melting away by his touch.
Now ideally, HUGGING IS NOT A SIN. HOLDING HANDS IS NOT A SIN. It only becomes a sin once lustful desire enters it, so if you hug this brother and it is as if you’ve entered his body already (uhnhun you know that kind of hug girl), lust has entered it so it is a sin, understood?

From touching, the guy (or girl) is setting a foundation for other activities to follow suit. You can’t touch someone in sensitive/sensual places only to pray with them later, hello? Come on, let’s not kid ourselves abeg.
Since touching is setting the ground for other things to follow suit, you would’ve already THOUGHT about those other things and remember we said “thinking about the act is as good as doing it which is fornication which in turn is a sin”
Kissing: Have you ever realized that once you kiss a person you’re never satisfied? You want to keep kissing that person and if you can’t, you start thinking about that kiss when you get home/when you’re idle, has it happened to anyone here? Kissing wasn’t made to satisfy but aggravate. You kiss someone to set them in the mood; you kiss someone to light up that spark for further activities.
Kissing someone can be likened to this situation illustrated below:

Friend A: Come make we go kitchen.
Friend B: Okay, make we go.
Friend A: *puts on gas and lights it up*
Friend B: Wetin you wan cook?
Friend A: Nothing oh I just wan light gas dey look am.
Friend B: E be like sey you no well.

You can’t kiss someone only to stop in-between, even if you stop in between, either of you would’ve thought about or would still think about what was supposed to happen after kissing which brings us back to the point raised earlier “thinking of the act is as good as doing it already which in turn is fornication which is a sin”
Fondling/Smooching: As you’re kissing this guy/girl, your hands start to trace his/her body, from squeezing the breasts to scratching of the guy’s back to aggravated touching of the whole body. Haaayyyy! If you’re lucky to stop there, that doesn’t mean you won’t be judged in the same measure as someone who went the full throttle. As fondling and kissing and touching are ongoing, either or both of you will be thinking about the end game, sex. Remember, fondling/smooching is to increase your sexual desires and not to suppress them. We can establish that touching someone lustfully or with lustful desires/intentions in the heart is fornicating with that person which in turn is a sin.

Sex: The end game, ghen ghen. Now some people will say they didn’t do the do but they had oral or “he gave me head” or “I only gave him head oh, we didn’t have sex”, what nonsense are you saying? Oral sex as we established earlier is sex! Whether there is no penetration or there is, so far you’re fondling with your sexual organs, girl you just had sex with this guy! We know sex (old plain knowledge) is fornication which is a sin.

Now can you see that no matter what you do, be it touching or kissing or smooching or sex itself or just thinking about either of the four, it all boils down to fornication which is a sin?
All in all, what truly matters is our walk with God. We need to live by the principles of Christ and let the Holy Spirit dwell in our lives, don’t forget the Bible says in 1 Corinthians 6:19 (Good News) “Don’t you know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and who was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourselves but to God. If we live our lives knowing that there is a temple built in our bodies for the Holy Spirit to reside in, we would not want to involve ourselves in things that are displeasing unto the Spirit or things that will cause the temple of the Holy Spirit to be dirty and whatnot.

I pray God helps us all in our walk with Him, let’s say this little prayer of confession:
Dear Lord, maker of Heaven & Earth, I bless your name and I thank you for what I just read, please forgive me of all my sins, those I did knowingly and those I did unknowingly, please come cleanse my spirit, let me be one with you through Christ out Lord & Saviour, let your Spirit help me and let me continue to live a life pleasing unto your Holy Name, thank you Lord, in Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.

The comment box is open, if you want to contribute or ask some questions, please feel free and if you’re led to reply some questions being asked by some people, please feel free.

Thank you Grace & thank you Epiphany29.com readers for lending me this space, hope we all learned something today? Kisses!

Bookie…
www.bookiekunlere.com




Comments

  1. Dicey

    So in summary! If u don’t want to sin Don’t even think about getting down. But if you are ready for the repercussions then it’s a waste to go half way….better go all the way. It’s the same strokes of cane you will chop at the end!!
    God help us all….
    But shall we continue in sin that grace may abound??

    1. Bookie

      LOL at strokes of cane.
      If you can stop half way, please do and go back to God, it’s better than having regrets in the end you know.

      Shall we continue in sin that grace may abound? Godforbid.
      🙂

    1. Bookie

      Haha I understand you.
      Like what makes altering the true state of a situation a lie?
      Or what makes taking what isn’t your stealing/being covetous?
      🙂

  2. chidera

    Well written.but I think u deviated from d topic I was really looking forward to which is KISSING.u focused more on sex than kissing.I tnk maybe u shld change d topic from is kissing a sin to maybe different kinds of sexual sins.

    1. Bookie

      Hello Chidera,
      From the opening paragraphs, I explained why I had to talk about the foundation first before talking about the topic.
      Kissing is intertwined (in most cases) with sexual activities so that’s the reason it ended up being an all round post on enlightenment.
      Have a nice day.

  3. Ihuoma

    I’m really not sure what i think. I’ve often thought about this but i didn’t just get anywhere with the answers. What if its just kisses and it ends there? I mean, just a way to express love and not intended to lead to sex? What then?……

    My bf even makes jokes about it about being a sin but he still has to do it anyway. Its all so confusing and not so clear cut……

    1. Tola

      Hello Ihuoma,

      Sex is like a speech, kissing is like the opening statement. No matter how much opening statement you make, you will one day want to make the speech and your bf joking that its a sin but still do it anyway will soon come back to tell you that ‘Sex is also a sin but…’.

      It is always advisable to stay away from sin or whatever you ain’t sure is a sin cos ignorance is not an excuse.

  4. Andrestunner

    what can one say that hasn’t been said, you definitely don’t kiss with your hands tied behind your back!!!
    lets try to do what is right even though we all know its not easy at all…..kissing is good and nice but most times lead into other things..

    cheers!!

  5. ene

    Hey house!!! I agree with the Bible highlights and all. but I don’t think kissing is a sin. Kissing involves touch but there is nothing wrong with touch “depending on where u touch”. One should know when to draw the line to prevent inappropriate activities. Kissing is even far deeper than sex and so before a kiss is initiated, your grounds with the person should have been rock solid.

    1. $ha~dollarz

      Are u for real now Ene? “…there’s nothing wrong with touch ‘depending on where u touch?'”
      Common girl, where else would u touch while kissing? the roof? the table? or probably the floor? Common!
      Besides ur opinions are contradicted; from ‘kissing is not a sin’ to ‘kissing is even far deeper than sex.’
      I hope u take note…
      May God bless and keep us chaste.

  6. ann

    @ Andrestunner; you ve said it all.

    Well done Bookie. Good write up.

    As they say ‘na from clap them they take enter dance’. He that has ears, let him hear…..

  7. Tobey

    Good write up! In my opinion the motive behind your action determines whether something is right or wrong. Let your conscience be your judge. Cheers!

  8. Paul

    Either kissing is aggravator or elevator…Sin is a sin.
    Galatians 5:16 This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh. Galatians 5:17 For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would.
    Have heard where people kiss and receive d Holy Ghost…lolz
    Stop giving excuses… Whatever u do that can advance into sin .it is sin..

  9. Chi

    Well said. I really really like dis write up. U just broke it down in a way everyone should understand it. And truthfully we are all familiar with these things, we know yet we do, some people might try to believe kissing isn’t a sin so dey could keep doin it Buh in d long run u know wats on ur mind wen u kiss a loved one so who are u kidding. Tumbs up bookie and grace for this write up.

    1. Bookie

      Yes, thank you, I thank God you could understand it.
      The Spirit will always discern so you know what’s right and what’s not (it’s called having a conscience these days)

  10. Aaron

    Hmmm… Well said. Have never seen kissing as a sin sha,peck on the cheek,on the lips and forehead is normal in my family. My sister will see it as an offence if i fail to kiss her,even my brothers plus mummy. Now i havnt seen it as a sin kissing/peck my guyfriend(we are not in love o),but now somehow am feeling guilty about it. Is it wrong or right? I havnt seen any big deal in it till now.

    1. Tolu

      I don’t believe that kissing/pecking of one’s family members is a sin. As for kissing of male friends that’s another whole ball game but question now is this when u say kissing of male friends does that involve mouth to mouth kiss or just a peck on the cheek. If its a peck on the cheek then nothing is wrong in that cos its a sign of affection but it does become a sin when the said friend begins to have immoral that’s come in which u might eventually notice. Its at that point u call it quit.
      I believe the confusion u have here has to do with intimate kiss vs pecking

  11. Olaoluwa

    @aaron, beyond what bookie has written (a nice write up by the way), she might not be able to cite all scenarios…therefore there is need for the holy spirit leading to guide us…it “might” be ok to peck your family members but your guyfriend (regardless of whether you are in love or not)…caution must be taken!

  12. Olaoluwa

    @Bookie, captivating topic and wonderful write up! More grace sis. But have we considered the western world; where kissing is seen as a mode of formal greeting? What’s you take on that?

    1. Bookie

      Hey Ola, yes I did think about that and because it’s a form of greeting, it’s quite different. Even in the Bible, we saw where Judas kissed Jesus as a means of identifying him to the soldiers.
      🙂

  13. Stellamaris

    It’s a really good and educating article
    But from what I understand from this, you are practically saying that kissing is a sin, but you should also know that it’s not in every relationship that if they are kissing they end up having sex, no matter the type of sex. Some people are determined to keep that out of the plate if they both agree on that.
    Anyways, nicely written. Kudos.

  14. Tolu

    Interesting read thumbs up to u madam bookie. But like u mentioned in one of replies Judas kissed Jesus as form of betrayal. It was also a form of greeting back then cos I believe Mary did kiss Elizabeth. It is also still a form of greeting in today’s society so its my belief that a difference should be made as regards what type of kissing as some people r getting it all confused. Kissing in this article I believe we as adults know wat type it is and should not be confused with what is termed as pecking

  15. Simeon Scripts

    wow… the first thing i did was to laugh when i read the topic. so interesting and controversial yet need to be discussed.
    Thanks Grace for bringing it up.( sorry for just reading this).

    Ok. Firstly, i would say this, from my knowledge of the Scriptures. KISSING IS NOT A SIN. Judas betrayed Jesus with a KISS. Paul said (2Cor 13:16) Greet one another with a holy kiss.. HOWEVER, I know there are DIFFERENT TYPES OF KISSING. Some for greeting, some for affection etc. Google types of Kisses. I perfectly understand the one Bookie is talking about.(French Kiss) THE SEXUALLY INCLINED KISS, WHICH IS A SIN. Kiss that stimulate your erotic emotion is a sin because it brings the desires of sex which is not permitted outside. Or lustful thoughts that drives the Holy Spirit away.

    Second thing i would like to mention is CONSCIENCE. Yes, our conscience. This is an important factor in matters like this. IF your conscience is tend and sensitive to the Holy Spirit, you would be UNEASE anything you give a FRENCH KISS to your partner. Why? Many things! Your body is God’s Temple. It could lead to sex. It stirs up lust etc… But if you have a tough conscience, you would do it without any warning from your Spirit man.

    THIRDLY, Proverbs 20:27 says The spirit of man is the candle of the LORD, searching all the inward parts of the belly. WHAT ARE YOUR INTENTIONS when you kiss your partner. GOD WOULD JUDGE YOUR MOTIVES QUICKER THAN YOUR ACTIONS. Why do you want to kiss your partner? To show love? Aren’t there other ways of kissing your partner apart from stirring up erotic emotions and satisfy your lust? These are honest questions we need to answer.

    I think these few points of mine are enough for the day.

    THIS IS WORTH READING

  16. Jason Christopher

    Is it a sin? Hmm…

    Let me come at it from this angle. We all know a lot of diseases share similar symptoms. What now distinguishes most of them are the extra accompanying symptoms.

    Sharing a kiss with someone is a way of showing affection. It is also one of the activities during sex. See my point now? Similar to the disease and symptoms analogy above, it is first and foremost what is. It is also a major component of a sex.

    But is it a sin? I don’t think it is. The scriptures are clear on what is and what isn’t sin. You can share a harmless kiss to just show affection without the intention and desire to culminate in sex.
    However, the scriptures also say “flee from EVERY appearance of evil”.
    If this activity always triggers something within you that makes you want to consummate with sex, then steer clear of it that you might not sin.

    Note how it is used above; it might usher an opening to fall into sin. But itself is no sin.

    JC

  17. lydia davidz

    Well written n so insightful.. we re treasures… the very ark that God dwells in… please let’s do well not to let our emotions control us but rather put every thought under the obedience of Christ…
    Really blessed

  18. temiloluwa

    I really hope this comment gets a reply. In my own opinion I don’t see kissing as a sin. But ur write up says otherwise. What I feel about all these is that it all boils down to ur motive, ur reason for “kissing”. And there’s this other issue; I want to believe that you’ve read or at least heard about Christian “romance” novels with authors like Francine Rivers, Karen Kingsbury and so on. The characters in these books actually do kiss before getting married but do not have sex before marriage. My point is, are you saying that despite the fact that these authors are known to be good Christians, what is being portrayed in their books are wrong???

  19. grey

    lol.. then you realize that when the bible said man that probably includes hubby or wifey. can you lust after your spouse?

I appreciate all your comments!